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I blame myself for asking all those questions about the affair because I worry it has led to the separation.I spend my time going over and over things in my head and one minute I think things are turning around but the next minute I’m questioning what my wife is doing with her time alone and whether or not we’re really ‘working on the marriage’. Originally scheduled as a lunchtime meet, it lasted all day and into the night.The following day she said it felt like they’d known each other for weeks instead of hours. Another friend met a guy who she was half-heartedly interested in. [Read: 12 real signs of true love in a relationship] So if a marriage or a romance is so easy to read, why is it that so many of us are surprised and even shocked when our relationship falls apart one eventful day, *out of the blue*?
Or…they just revert to the ‘real them’, ripping the rug from under your feet and replacing hot with cold and someone who you barely recognise. People who engage in Fast-Forwarding are Future Fakers, whether they directly do it by talking up a storm about plans or do it indirectly by behaving so intensely and putting so many demands on you (emotional, sexual, wanting to be with you all the time), that they let you believe that the level of intensity you are experiencing is what is on offer.
However, underneath not all is right, for either of us.
How can we work on a marriage when we’re not together and can a trial separation help a marriage?
The research, commissioned by lawyers Slater & Gordon, also revealed one third of the women studied had considered ending their marriage.
Women were most likely to cite a fear of being unable to cope financially as their biggest reason for not separating, while men were most worried about the impact it would have on the family. It would have too big an impact on the family/ need to stay together for the kids 5.